bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we should paint friendship bongs
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
