I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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