How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
