This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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