I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
