No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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