Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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