i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Someone shattered a urinal.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize