no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
