i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
