i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
