I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish you could order shots online.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
