omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
