and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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