Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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