I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
her vagine was all disorganized.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
