i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
