i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
