I wish I could punch you in the face.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
