We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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