Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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