think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
try to milk me bitch
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
