idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
