yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
