no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
