YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Me too!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
