apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
