My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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