Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
