So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
