Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
