I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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