Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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