Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
