careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
