I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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