Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
