We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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