She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
