My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
