the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
