remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
