My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
