Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
