if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize