idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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