She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
