they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
