i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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