Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My balls are so social today.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
