is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
