tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
