omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize