you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His nipple licking is glorious
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