at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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