): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
