so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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