I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
