3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
