Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
