Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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