Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
