I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize